Dancing with Food

Weight loss is a dance with food and eating habits. You resolve to lose weight, change your ways – lose a few pounds then your body screams to grab it back.  I WANT THAT FAT says the body, starved for real nutrition.   HEY NOT SO FAST as the pounds and inches melt away and a skinnier you emerges from folds of flesh, and whoa, there’s my ribcage! I knew I had ribs.  And not the BBQ kind. And there’s my waistline.  WOW! Somehow, deep inside the double XL, it managed to survive.

How did I get so overweight? I carried my weight well, people said, disbeleiving that I weighed 205 pounds.  And so I got away with it.

10 weeks into this weight-loss thing and I got on the scales this morning and voila – 181! 181! Wow! That’s 24 pounds. So the tape measure comes out and I measure everywhere, even my neck, and I’m down a whopping 37 inches, including an inch off my neck. AN INCH OFF MY NECK! WAS I REALLY THAT FAT?  How can you store fat on your neck?

And so – this evening I eat. First evening in a long while that I’m snacking. First a bag of BBQ whey thins – these high protein crispy things that take up the spot of a salty snack.

Then about a dozen organic strawberries.

Then an Isa Delight chocolate.

Okay, so there’s nothing wrong with any of that. But then my friend comes in with a bag of fruit from the organic market and hands me a pint of the absolutely most beautiful raspberries.

Oh, okay – nothing wrong with a few raspberries.  But hey wait a minute didn’t I just eat strawberries?  Isn’t there something about quantity of food, as much as quality of food, that packs the pounds on?

Then I see his bag of organic cheddar popcorn…just because it says organic all over the bag doesn’t make it healthy.  4 handfuls of cheddar popcorn later…my hand is now in the raisin jar.

THE RAISIN JAR!? How the hell did my hand find it’s way into that?

And so the dance continues. Tomorrow I’ll fast. Yes, I won’t eat. I’ll just drink the magic elixir that comes with my 30-day cleanse and weight-loss kit and eat the little whey tablets they call wafers, and drink water, and at some point, about 6 ounces of my home made ginger-lavender kombucha, just to keep the gut’n’brain bacteria healthy.

And after about 36 hours of not eating, I’ll get that magic energy and incredible clarity of mind that comes with fasting.

And my body practices and learns this new dance step called intermittent fasting. It’s the latest weight-loss fad. Is it a fad, or is it maybe the real thing?





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Posted in Alison Boston, Food, Weight loss

I Feel Skinny Inside 02 

Skinny inside is how I felt after my first 2-day back-to-back cleanse. What’s that? Well, that’s a type of fast, though not as strict as a water-only fast, but still I don’t eat – at least not the way I used to eat.  The 2-day back-to-back fast is teaching my body-brain just how little it really needs on a daily basis to maintain good health.

Yeah. The cleansing fasts and the reduced calories I’ve been consuming while on my weight-loss journey are teaching me  how much I’ve been over eating.

Over-eating. Over-indulging. Stuffing and then over-stuffing.

A friend recently confessed to me: “I eat to stuff down my emotions.” How many times have I heard/read that expression? How many times have I said that to myself, and dared not speak the words to someone else?  And what does it mean?

For me it means eating until the physical sensation of being full overwhelms the emotional sensation that started the eating. When I do the cleansing fasts, I learn what makes me want to eat.

During my first month of practicing consuming low cal, nutritionally balanced meals I wrote down four emotions that make me want to eat.  It’s almost a poem.

I eat when I’m disappointed

Eat when I feel let down

Eat when I self loathe

Eat when I’m all alone

To change those eating habits I have to find new, healthier ways of dealing with those emotions.  I need help managing my eating habits while I learn those new ways. That’s where my weight-loss plan comes in and takes over. Yes, takes over.  I’ve given my eating habits over to a plan devised by someone else. I’ve said I can’t do this on my own. I don’t know enough about nutrition and the complexities of the human body to ensure I get a balanced diet while I change my stuffing ways.

I am a pescatarian vegetarian (for lack of a better word), whole foods fanatic (read the recipes on this blog to get an idea of how I’ve been eating), and I love my own cooking.  After years of insisting that I eat healthy, and denying my sugar and simple carb binges, and getting fatter and fatter and fatter, I finally turned my eating plan over to a weight-management plan and started losing weight and feeling great.


Posted in Alison Boston
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